Tuesday, September 18, 2007

life in all its glory

when your life really sucks, how do you answer people who asks you about it? i never got any good at that.

to begin with many people asks how one is doing to be polite, right, it's just what you say. when you haven't seen each other for a while you ask how they're doing. i get that, i do it myself, but do we really want the answer if it's not a fine? and so if it's really not fine, what do you say? do you lie? do you say it's fine even when it's not to remove the awkwardness that follows every other reply? cos there's always awkwardness. the other party doesn't know what to say, or is simply not interested in what was just said and for either reason feels embarrassed because of it.

still, i don't want to lie to my friends, even the not-so-close ones. i've always hated shallow. but on the other hand i don't really feel like pouring out how much my life sucks to everybody who happens to ask either. for my sake, for their sake. trap. it's like what allison (pretty picture above) says in breakfast club about sex
Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have you're a slut. It's a trap. You want to but you can't, and when you do you wish you didn't, right?
or something like it at least. either way, i hate it. i can't make my mind up. i know you'd think i've gotten it by now, i mean i've had close to 29 years to figure it out, but no.

i'm a terrible friend. funny and nerdy, but terrible.


Dave said...

i'm in the same conundrum. cuz frankly i'm rather frustrated with my life right now, yet i'm almost always happy and cheery. i can't let people know that i have my downs too!

if they ask me how i'm doing, i usually just try to change the subject. it works maybe 10% of the time.

the female man said...

i know the feeling, but i say screw awkwardness and be brutally honest. at least with people you care about and who care about you, 'cause they probably want to know how you really feel and aren't asking just to be polite. and if they are, well, what the hell, next time maybe they won't ask if they don't really wanna know.
i myself HATE when people answer "i'm fine" when they obviously aren't. i wanna know, goddamnit! what's the point in asking people how they are/feel if you don't really wanna know and the answer isn't honest anyway? it's fucking pointless. stop asking if you don't wanna know and answer honestly if someone asks you, people! or if you don't want to, tell them you don't wanna talk about it.
well, that's how i try to do it nowadays anyway.

lots of love